John 4:16-19
“Go and get your husband,” Jesus told her. “I don’t have a husband,” the woman replied. Jesus said, “You’re right! You don’t have a husband- for you have had five husbands, and you aren’t even married to the man you’re living with now. You certainly spoke the truth!” “Sir,” the woman said,”you must be a prophet.
HUYU MWANAMKE ALISHAKUWA NA MAHUSIANO NA WANAUME WA 5, KWA ZAMA ZILE NI WENGI LAKINI KWA ZAMA HIZI IT IS JUST ICEING ON THE CAKE, INAHESABIKA KAMA WARM UP! BADO BODY COUNT HAIJA-ANZA NA YESU ANAMWAMBIA KATIKA HAO WA 5 HAKUNA MUME HUMO, “YOU CERTAINLY SPOKE THE TRUTH”
MWENZENU ALISEMA UKWELI WAKE NYIE MNA KAZI YA KUJIZIMA DATA, SIO MWAKA MMOJA AU 2, MPAKA AKIOA NDO UNAJIZOA NA KUJIKOKOTA UKAFIE MBELE!, MPENDWA UNAWEZA KUJIULIZA MBONA YESU HAKUMPA MUME? AU HAKUMUACHANISHA NA YULE WA NYUMBANI BASI??.
YULE MWANAMKE ALIFANYA WRONG DECISIONS, AFADHALI YAKE ALIKUWA ANAJITAMBUA! AKIKAA NA JITU HALIELEWEKI ANA ANALITIMUA ANAVUTA KITU KIPYA, WAKAFIKA WA 5!, MBINGU HAZIKUMCHAGULIA WALA HAYO MAHUSIANO HAKULAZIMISHWA JUST LIKE YOU! NI MWENDO WA HIARI YAKO!
MPENDWA ANACHOFANYA YESU NI KU POINT OUT TU KUWA HATA HUYU WA SASA HAMNA KITU, NA KAULI ALIYO-ITOA KUWA HANA MUME HATA KATIKA ULIMWENGU WA ROHO PIA INA-STAND YAANI HANA MUME, YESU AKAWEKA FULL STOP HAPO, HAKUTAKA USHANSHUDA KWAMBA SASA SHEMU KULE NYUMBANI ITAKUWAJE?
YESU ALISHA ONA KWENYE UNABII KWAMBA HUYU MWANAMKE HAKAWAZI UKIZINGUA OUT, SO KWA KUMWAMBIA HATA NYUMBANI NI BILA BILA MANAKE ANAJUA ANACHOTAKIWA KUFANYA, KIUTU-UZIMA TU ANAMPANGA KWAMBA HATA WA SASA BILA-BILA!
Yule mwanamke ana-muelewa Yesu!, Cristal-Clearly , Ana mkubali kwa kumwambia “”YOU MUST BE A PROPHET” MAANA KAYAONA YAJAYO!
TUKIACHANA NA BODY COUNT ZENU ZA DOUBLE DIGITS MINUS ONE NIGHT STAND, MINUS BELOW 18 IT WAS TOTALLY ILLEGAL CANT BE COUNTED, AFTERALL YOU WERE YOUNG AND RESTLESS, YOU WERE TAKEN ADVANTAGE, IT WILL BE IN-HUMAN TO PUT THOSE BODY COUNTS OKAY IT WAS MOLESTATION AND EVIL, TUKIANZA ULIVYO ANZA KUJIUZA MWENYEWE,WHEN YOU BECAME YOUR OWN MANAGER STILL THE BOUDY COUNT IS DOUBLE DIGITS, NI KUMI KWENDA MBELE!
TUJE KWENYE KUPOTEZEWA MUDA NA MWANAUME, HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE ? WHAT IS STOPPING YOU FROM LEAVING HIM AND GOING TO FIND YOURSELF A HUSBAND? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
Hamna eneo Wanaume wa KWELI kama eneo la NDOA! YAANI, WANAKUPA LIVE YAANI NI MWENDO WA:
1.MUDA WANGU WA KUOA BADO, NITAKUCHELEWESHA SANA
It is Just a polite way ya kusema SIKUOI TAMBAA MBELE, Lakini mwanangu wewe unajikalisha hapo unasubiri kucheleweshwa ukiji chekesha kama chizi kaona jalala jipya, Pamoja na kuambiwa hivo AKITAKA UNAPANUA WAAAAAAH! Kamajinga flani hivi!UKISIKIA ANA OA BADO UNAKUWA HEART BROKEN ?, ULICHO DANGANYWA NINI?, UMEJIDANGANYA MWENYEWE!
2.UCHUMI HAUJAKAA SAWA SIWEZI KUOA!
Jitu linalo-ongea hivo lina miaka 38, wewe mwanamke 32, Na wewe una kazi Ya kumuombea uchumi kama jingaa, Wewe uchumi Wake ukikaa sawa na miaka 45 wewe 42 atakwambia MAYAI YASHAKAUKA NA KUWA VISA, Yalikauka ukiwa unamsubiria nani? Kalaghabaooo! Anakwambia nataka watoto wengimimi, Hapo uki-FOSI sana una mayai Ma-3, Menopause HII hapa! NA NDIO ANAKUCHAPA KARATA YA FERTILITY NA CHILD BEARING AGE! Kudadadeki.
Tena familia yake wana publish kabisa MWANAMKE NI MZEE HAKUFAI, Chukua watoto wa 2000 wana miaka yao 20 na kitu li-uzazi jingiiii, fertility is fertilitying zinaingia mimba mpaka double-double!
WEWE NA MAIKA YAKO 32 USIJIONGEZE KUTAFUTA MUME WAKATI MAYAI MABICHI UNA KAZI YA KUYATUPA KILA MWEZI KWENYE PEDI, TUPO HAPA! IVF MILLION 30 SAHIVI! NA DOLLORA INAVOPANDA NA SHILINGI KUPOROMOKA ANDAA MILLION 100 KWENYE FIXED DEPOSIT.
4.KUNA WEWE NA MZAZI MWENZANGU SIJAJUA NITA MUOA NANI KATI YENU!
IT IS THE BATTLE OF THE EX’s, IN REALITY ANACHOSEMA NI NONE OF YOU IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME, YOU CAN ALL DISAPPEAR !ATAOLEWA MTU AMBAE HAYUPO KWENYE EQUATION!, NYIE ENDELEENI KUMSAMBAZIA RAHA NA UZURI MNA JUANA ATAKAYE SUSA ATASAIDIWA NA MWENZIE, WOTE MAKUBWA JINGA WEWE NA MWENZIO, MWANAUME ANA WACHEZA KAMA KARATA!
5. USINIULIZE MAMBO YA KIJINGA NA KUNITOA KWENYE MOOD TUKAVURUGANA!
Sasa My wewe kuuliza utaolewa lini ugomvi unatoka wapi? Tusi gani ulilo mtukana! It is a polite way of saying I AM ASHAMED OF YOU BEACH, HOW DARE UKANIFANANISHA NA MUME WAKO! UNANIONAJE? NAANZAJE KUISHIA NA MKE KAMA WEWE ? HAPA NI UPWIRU UNITED TYUUU SINA MUDA WA KUKUDANGANYA USIJE KUNING’ANGANIA BURE, NO FAKE PROMISE! NO NOTHING, NAKUPA UKWELI DRY DRY!
Mwali WANGU KIGEGO upooo tuuu kama zazwaaaa, Ukitania Mume, Mtu ana-ganda kama kashikwa baridi ya bisi, Haitikii anabadilisha topic, Mai-zangu na nyie wakavu, Mpooo tuuu mpaka akuue.
IT IS 2024! MWAMBIE MUONGEEE MAN TO MAN, ANAKUOA AU HAOI UJUE MOJA, CHUKUA CHETI CHAKO WAHI PANADOL, WANAUME MBONA WAPO WENGI!, MTU KUSEMA HAKUOI SIO MWISHO WA HATMA YAKO YA NDOA, IT JUST MEANS YOU HAVE TO KEEP SEARCHING FOR THE ONE FOR YOU!
WANAUME WENGINE WANAO WANYANYASA HAWANA MBELE WALA NYUMA, MKONONI HAWAJAI, HOVYOOO HOVYO TU, LAKINI WANAVYO NATA NA KUWA DENGULIA SASA, UTADHANI AKIKUOA ND`IO UMEOLEWA NA PRINCE.WILLIAMS, KUMBE UNALOEWA KWENDA KU WORK FOR A LIVING, UPUUZI MTUPU.
SHIDA MWANANGU HUJUI THAMANI YAKO, HUJUI THAMANI YA MUNGU WAKO! UPO KAMA KUBWA JINGA UNA NYANYASIKA NA MTU MKONONI HAJAl.
MPENDWA NATAKA KUWAPA STORY LAKINI SIO KAMA MTUMISHI ILA MKORA TU, DON’T IREPEAT DONT BE INSPIRED AT ALL, IT IS VANITY UPON VANITY, NIME WASIMANGA SANAA KWENYE HII POST SO HII STORY NAWAPA KAMA PANADOL TU MTULIZE MAUMIVU YA KICHAMBO MAANA HAYAPOI KWA GANZI.
Dada yangu Bwana alikuwa mzuri wa mtaa, So akawa na Bwana Wake tangu Form 2 wa pale pale mtaani Kwao mambo safii, Kwetu tia maji tia maji, Baadae Familia ilisambaratika kila mtu akawa kwa ndugu tofauti tofauti, So uhusiano ukawa umepigwa dhoruba, Inaenda mpaka chuo, Yule kaka akamtafuta muda huo alikuwa Arusha kwa Aunty yetu! Uhusiano ukarudi kwa kasi, Waka date mpaka sister alivyo maliza chuo, Mama ali waachanisha Mara 1000, Wapi, Yule kaka alikuwa na kazi nzuri na Baba yake ana Kampuni wako njemaaa, Sister kamaliza chuo sasa anamuuliza NDOA VIPI?, anaingia na kutoka! Mwaka ukaisha, Akamkomalia Akamwambia YEYE KUOA BADO, MARA MAMA YAKE HAJA MKUBALI SISTER, SABABU KIBAOOO!
Sister akasema huyu hanijui, Mimi mzuriii wa chuo, mzuri wa Mtaa, wenzangu wa kawaida wame-olewa mimi ndo nibakie, Thubutuuu! Ni muda wa ku-evaluate application zingine na applicant wengine , Tukajua hana jeuri hio wame Date zaidi ya miaka 10, Na walikuwa marafiki tangu sister yuko la 3, Ule urafiki wa kucheza wote yaani kirahisi tu? Thubutu!
Mpendwa huku na huku another Applicant akawa anatutoa dinner, Sis is high maintainance, magari makali,she is about that life!. Sasa huyu applicant mpya hana Gari, he works for the government! Ai!Tukaona HAMFAI NA SISI CHAWA WAKE HATUFAI, What was the point ya kuwa na Dada pisi ya mtaa, Hatujamzoea hivo, Tukapanga tumrejeshe SHEMU MIYEYUSHO!.
Hatuna hili wala lile akapata MIMBA ya huyu empty pockets, Tukawa wapole, OUR DYNASTY IKAISHIAAA HAPO, Shemu MIYEYUSHO alivyosikia mwenzie ana-mimba aliumia sana, SIS WAS DETERMINED!
TUNAKULA HELA ZA MIYEYUSHO TUWA-ACHANISHEEE WAPI, MWANAMKE AKIAMUA LAKE YULE LIMEISHA, WAKAFUNGA NDOA TAKATIFU!
Miyeyusho analalamika pesa tuna manga na ndoa imetangazwa, Are we even on his side kweli? Tunamwambia YULE NI HIGH MAINTAINANCE hawezi kudumu kwenye hio ndoa, Ulimjeruhi sana, Ana beg ana beg kama SIO yule aliyetuletea nyodo. Baada ya ndoa huyu shemu official pesa IKAITIKA, Anarudi nyumbani na kibegi cha helaaa! Mnahesabu mpaka, sita kaa nisahau!, Wote tuka mblock MIYEYUSHO, Akwendree YUDA KATIKA UYUDA WETU.
NDOA IMEDUMU MIAKA 10 NA MITOTO KADHAA FINALY MWAKA HUU IMEFIKIA TAMATI , THEY ARE CALLING IT QUITS ! PESA ILIISHA NA MAPENZI YALIISHA, THE DIVORCE IS NASTY AND BLOOD EXPENSIVE, GUESS WHO DIDN’T MARRY AND WAS WAITING FOR THE DIVORCE FOR 10 YEARS? MATTER OF FACT NDO ANA GHARAMIA THE BLOODY LAWYERS, ASHAANZA U STEP DADY MAPEMAA NA ADA ZA STEP CHILDREN ZILIVYO KAUSHA DAMU ASHASEMA KAMA BABA YAO HALIPI NITALIPA.
SIJUI ANAJIAMINI NINI, HAMJUI SHEMU OFFICIAL, AME INVEST KWA WANE ANALIPA ADA KWA $$, MKE MCHUKUE LAKINI DAMU YAKE, DAMU ITA MWAGIKA ADA YA INTERNATIONAL CAMBRIDGE MASAKI MCHEZO, YAJAYO YANATISHA MAYUDA TUMBO JOTO.
